讨厌今年的新年

说回初一。。。果然不出我所料。。。什么都没有！！！
我还抱着一点点的希望。。结果彻彻底底的失望！！！！他来我家时我看到他什么都没有拿。。就知道我猜对了。。。枉我还为他想要给他什么好。。。算了。。我给他了。。。他竟然对我说其实他不喜欢带戒子。。。我。。。唉。。。算了。。。去到阿妈家。。。过后就去他家。。。
哪里都没去。。。在他家吧了。。。回家。。。第一年亲祝情人节却这样。。给我点惊喜很难吗？？花点心思在我身上很难吗？？？我对你做的一切都是假的吗？？还以为晚上他回来陪我。。。结果又是朋友！！！!朋友朋友！！！！我连朋友都不如！！！！哭有用吗？？一个人做在前面等待奇迹的出现。。可是又失望了。。。算了。。。早上跟他去吃东西。。。真的很不爽。。。过后没事了。。。什么都没吃。。。回吉隆坡。。。对他来说很开心吧。。。不说了。。。什么也不写了。。。我到底是什么？？人吗？？谁会在乎我？？？对你来说我到底是什么。。。消遣品吗？？我自己也不知道。。。我死了你都不会在乎吧。。。真的觉得我连人都不如。。。这就是我想要的吗？？我真的累了。。。我还能说什么。。。哭也哭了。。说也说过了。。。都没用！！！连桌球都还重要过我。。。算了。。。失败的女友就是我。。。有谁愿意陪我听我诉苦？？每次回来都说陪朋友。。下次回来陪我。。。算了。。。到最后我还是必须一个人！！！！

讨厌！疯！

今天的我很不开心。。可是。。。
心里好难过。。第一次为了人在补习哭。。。虽然没人知道。。。也好。。
早上在学校都还好。。。蛮开心。。。有人跟我说了同一样的话。。。
她说的不是没道理。。。回到家。。。赶着冲凉出去做东西。。。好赶。。
幸好来得及。。。3点多去弄头发。。其实去洗吧了。。。朋友弄。。
5点多。。回家了那东西赶着出去了。。。
我跟他谈谈。。。在补习时。。。他send了一封信息让我看了眼泪马上流出来。。。
内容是什么我不想写下来。。。让我哭的句子。。。我很讨厌你。。我讨厌你为什么每次想有的没的。。。在这样下去我都会疯。。类似这样。。。我的心真的碎了。。。好伤心好伤心。。。
现在才发现原来我是这样的人。。。真没用。。。最近的我都好像必须习惯一个人。。。
从那封信息开始我没有再跟任何人说话。。。到现在还是一样。。谁跟我说话都好我只是点头或摇头。。。当我看到他上网可是却不回复我。。我心更痛。。。看到他的fb写的东西。。。。他写怎么突然崩溃！！！呆！！！不用说肯定是在说我。。。我真的让你有这样的感觉吧了吗？？
你跟我一起就没有快乐吗？？一点点幸福都没有吗？？？开心呢？？好心痛看到这一切一切。。。我还能怎样？？心里的话要向谁说？？没有人了。。一个个开始离我而去了。。连你也会吗？？？我现在连打给你都不敢。。。信息也怕。。。可是心却很担心。。。我能怎样做。。。哭哭哭。。。没用的我。。。

wad de problem??

haiz..dono hw lng nvr cme le...with a vry sad mud cme bek again...
wen ever i feel unhpy i sur cme n rite here..dono hu cn i tel...
recently hpen quite mny tng...fren prob..agtr dat day de msg n mrng wad she told me...
i strt wad aso dwn say..b patient n control my anger....n nvr scold XXX d...i ad try my bst...
nw feel lk xgd fren d...wads de mean gd fren i aso dono...jz say say nia??anggap she my gd gd fren..
bt i tnk she nvr anggap me gua..dwn say d la..tired d..
othr wn is he..he reli strtd 2 chge...alot n alot...yterday i ask hm...y evytme i fon he...
he sur gt reason dwn 2 talk v me??noe wad he ans??he say..act me n he kena less contact wn...
if nt 1 day v ntg 2 chat ad wn....wth...wen i saw de msg..wads de meanin??
haiz...den i buat keputusan...i wil nvr cl hm d..wil cl bt 1wek once or 2week oli cl...mby dats wad he wn...2day he nvr rply my msg..if 4 lz tm de me..i ad cl hm..bt i nvr...i tahan..i berjaya 4 de 1st..
i noe dat i cn...dnt put so much hop inside...ltr hu fall n hurt dat ppl wil b me..i tel my situation 2 1fren...my fren told me..he strt no luv me d....haiz...n say v cnt say in luv..jz cn say normal fren nia..wen is saw dat..my heart broken trus...my fren told b a outsider gv me opinion...yterday i saw hs ex again...omg..wenevr i saw hs ex..i wil gt such feel...dat is..feel lk i nt sesuai 2 hm..n mny la...i aso dono la..yterday i heard 1 song dat is 1 song dat me n my ex song..is sudenly tnk dat...y u apear in my mind again??i dwn i dwn..bt dis few wek n day asyk appear in my mind...dno la..
nw i jz sked bout hm..wad my fren say is real??i dono..bt i aso gt such feelin...haiz..sur i talk 2hm??i dwn quarel again...hu cn tel me wad 2 do???tired le..go slp 1st...

HATE MYSELF DE MOST!!!!

dono wen strt xrite d...anytng la...reli hate myself de most...cn any1 tel me wad 2 do??
say bek yterday....act..wen fri nite i ad vry behsyok hm...cz cme bek nt 5 me 1st...is pui fren 1st...
i dwn angry u..i jz fa my ownself pi qi...haiz...i tot he wil cme pui me go hme..bt gt ppl pui..bt nt him...is wen hau....thx u...i noe...wad u wnna tel me..i chose de...if menyesal aso my pasal..noe u 4 my own gd...bt i reli love hm...de tng i cn say....den de nx day...i tek nun...so mrng go out v hm..wen fri nite..he tel me sat 9lk dat cme fetch me...i wke up on7.45 help mum do tng...wait til 9 le...he nvr cl or wad...i sengaja dwn cl hm de....i wn c dat he gt xin wn meet me n c me bo...dono 9smetng lk dat he cl me le...wait til 9.40 lk dat he cme fetch me d...den go eat n the store...walk walk...den go hs hse...saw hs sis...i so sked ler..den hs sis vry frendly ler..so luckly...ntg lo..hs sis buy 1 belt 4 me...so nice...gt tme i post it up...lk it so much...i tel hs sis thx...hs sis samur tel me de oldest sis aso buy duno shirt or skirt 4 me ler..den hs sis ask my height n weight...sobsob..i heavier den hs sis ler...say truly...his sis vry pretty ler...samur slim...jelous...den 2 smetng go work le...he pui me go down jiu go le..cz he wn go out v hs fren...in his heart fren mur important den me!!!den duno 5smetng he sudenly cme 5 me...den v go liu de cai shen ye n mny la...so hpy..den he hv 2 go tke dinner v lam parent le...nvm lo..nite he cmin pui me go bek...i c de tme...i tnk xtme d la..xsempat d...bt at lz minit...he reach jor...so hpy...hehe...den cme my hse til 11.30 jiu go out v fren liao...b4 he goin bek..he say me...mny la...wen he go oli...my tear vry automatic drop le..duno hw 2 stop le... haiz...den msg msg...he sudenly nvr rply me...i sengaja dwn slp..wn wait hm go hme n msg me wn...wait til 1smetng le...xmsg!...geram..i msg go...he rply dat he tot me slp liao...wth!!!i nvr slp...cz i so wory u..nvr tel me go whr..doin wad...i so angry...wen he at outside...i cnt even gt gd slp!!!wil asyk awke!!!asyk c de fon....although gt msg...i dwn rply...dwn gv hm noe i nvr slp...de oni way i cn do...he 4lk dat oli slp...i tnk he 2day sur cnt wke up pui me eat lunch d...bt he gt cme...aihz...again hpen...fren fren fren!!!@.@ duno wn 2 tel hm wads my feelin...do wad i dono...al aso dono...so geram..trus off my hp...haiz..wen open i so sad...jz 2 or 1 msg nia..cl lgsg bo!!!reli lk heart broken...den 6smetng i open bek my fon...he fon cme...wn pui he go eat...den go lo..wen at bailing...v talk smentg again...2 aso dwn lyn each othr...i jz keept quiet...he vry kejar masa...haiz...wen reach my hme...i wn 2 hug n tel hm i luv u so much..dnt leave me alone...duno y i nvr do wad...act wen wn reach my hme..my tears dropin le..mby is i noe wen i say dat out..i wil cry...i dwn gv hm noe...den i jz dwn c hm n go up..wen i heard hs car sound far d...i stp at de stairs n cry cry...go up le...fon hm...n tel hm sry...he noe i cry le...haiz....sory...den go bath...cry kao kao!!den cme out d...msg 1 lng msg gv hm...say wn gv hm freedom n so on...at lz he dwn...i was so hpy....i noe u cre me!!i mur cre u!!u in my heart is so important!!mby i reli selfish...bt evytng i do jz wn u gd nia...hate myself de most reli....sked u wil leave me alone...say truly....couple v u...i cnt feel de an quan gan...dats y i so sked...u cn say quite hndsme...kenal so mny gal...alw msg v gal...mny ppl lk u aso...bt me!!jz lk a c2pig ppl...alw ikat u til vry ketat...me!!shui yang!!!xusE!!!soHAI!!nt a gd gf!!xpretty!!!samur treat u nt gd!!!!
dats de problem...i wil sked u wil gv othr ppl rampas go...haiz...bt i cn say...i wil try my bst 2 nt do dat....haiz...tc..rmber i luv u!!!!jz U!!!!

wad i cn say samur!

wen 27th of jan..he nvr let me disapointed...he rmeber...bt im tnkg...izit cz of wad i ask hm wen 12am on 27th???its ok la...let it ovr...den de mrng de raptai 4 ikrar gemilng..damn!!ketua kls hv 2 go infnt...i tot cl penolng go nvm...bt wen penyampaian sijil...my nme wil b say it out...aiyo..i terpaksa 2 go d...sien dao...haiz...nvm lo..jz my hair ar...nsb baik...pK HEM nt thr...if nt cham lo...den wen pj...dono y me strtd headache liao..pain til vry suffer...den eat d..run here run thr 2 5 cls tcher...mur pain la...yo!!!geram nia...y u sudenly wil treat me so gd??lz tme u aso seldom talk n ply v me wn...cz of hm???haiz..dwn tnk n dwn ask la...sien la...den wen waktu bi...my head reli vry pain...den wen baling on de table...my fren go tel de tcher...i PUTUS CINTA!!!!i angry!!!!den qing say...dnt lk dat zhu zhou ppl la...she 2day is 2month ar!!!!i ma say yala....reli behsyok...smetme tnk aftr u say out la...haiz...suak la...den gt 2 trip...1 is go 2 penang...dono 4 wad IPTA n IPTS de tng de...1 is 4 ipoh wn...sme aso la..bt nt sme date..i sur chose 2 go penang wn ma...haha...den so ngam de date goin thr is 27th OF MARCH!!!!hehe...i lg syok...bt...my gd fren n cousin cnt go...xplace d...haiz...wad 2 do ha...i aso hop thr cn go...bt....sory..i cnt help u al...my rong...den go hme le...i fz fz go bath...den learn go wear lens liao...aiyo..hard ler...haha..bt luckily..jz learn 4 half n hour...den go work le...bit no xi guan ba...haha...den de nx day...thur...aiyo..kena again my hair...i ad ikat vry kemas ma...aiyo...my infnt...de PK HEM..smile at me...nsb baik nvr tke tindakan...n wn me b mur kemas...okok..i promise u...wen on mon..i wil b vry kemas k??nsb baik ntg aso...smetme xone cn undrstnd me...mrng quarrel v mum...lng tme xgaduh til dat d...i reli wad i cn do smur...TRUST ME K MA???i nt dat childish k??haiz...so sad la...n angry...i dono wad i cn d samur...my anger cme bek again...i ad try 2 kep it le!!! haiz....im aso vry suffer wn....nt dwn tel u..wen i tell u...u nt kutuk den scold me d...u wn me hw??me angry...bt cousin go sch cry..dono y she cry..haiz...ntg d la..dwn say much mur....den lk usual la...yterday dear angry me...cz smentg la...i noe i promis u d...bt i dono jz so smal tng cn mke so big isu...sory....i noe wad 2 do d...haiz....dwn say d la...4gt 4gt!!!!den 2day...at sch...biasa lo...ntg hpen..jz wen waktu pa...PK HEM wn jmpa dgn ketua kls...bt wen i pusing n c...omg...PK HEM...my hair...fz fz pin..haha...den she say..aiyo..ur hair...i say dnt wory..onmon wil b vry kemas wn...i promis ha..cl us gtg ryg...den ntg le lo...den wen wktu km...so tl!!!!haiz...dwn say d la...u treat me lembut i wnt do til dat de...F***....suak d la...den de lz period d...penlng asyk mrh mrh de ajk keceriaan...mny mny la...i aso angry..bt wad cn i do..i DO NTG!!!!i cnt do anytng...de tng i cn do is kep quiet....haiz...hate la...u b pnlng b4 de..u sur cn undrstnd my feelin rite???y cnt u al undrstnd me...if u al b my jawatn...u al wil noe...anytng aso me wil kena 1st....dwn say d la....reli hate la!!! xppl try 2 undrstnd me!!!!! 2day my dar cry infnt of me...wen i at my own plce...she cme n sit d...n her head put on my shoulder...i heard de sound she cryin le...i tnkg...die la..haiz...i say cry it out ba...de tng dat i cn do...u cry it out u wil b mur selesa wn..dnt kep kep n kep...its hard...reli...wen i saw de pist frm her bf...i gt shock...n hate dis kind of guy..aftr c dat...my mind sudenly appear wad my ex tel me wen wn 2 broke!!! c2pig reason!!!! GUY ALW LK 2 GV SUCH REASON!!!! WN FREEDOM LA WN 2 B ALONE LA!!!!!if u al wn 2 b alone...den y frmde begining wn couple???haiz...den i ma tel my dear lo..wil dat hpen on me....he say wnt...act..wad he had promise me...its cnt blif it al...i gt nasihat d...dnt to trust..cz at de end oli us wil gt hurt!!!!den dear fniz sch le...wen he tellin me he strt cme bek d...i so hpy ler...cz i reli damn mis hm!!!!he reach at tpg at 7 smentg lk dat..i tot he wil cme 5 me..n teman me wen aftr work...i ma ask hm...den cn 5 me le lo...he say v fren cn ma??i ma ask lo..hu??he say jiu choi!!!!i trus say xnid...although i nt vry kena he...bt he wnt so gd pui dear wait me so lng...haiz...so disapointed u noe???i tot im de 1st cn c hm....bt..nt me..pui hs fren mur importnt den me!!!!ya...ur fren at kl..nt alw cme bek...ya..lz 2 wek u cme bek jz pui me nia!!bt if i reli importnt 2 u...hw aso u wil cme 5 me 1st...bt none...haiz..wad i cn say smur??say til reli sien n tired d...dwn say d...FED-UP D!!!!i sengaja dwn rply hs msg...dwn ans hs cl..aftr sme msg...n 3 cl..i nvr ans n rply...he nvr msg me le...he sur ply snoker til xtme 2 msg me!!!!!haiz...in hs heart i reli so nt importnt 2 hm???reli hate dat kind of feelin!!!!den i reach hme d...cl hm..whr r u??bhe say plyin snoker n 5 me ltr!!! wth!!!!haiz...suak d...i wad aso dwn say...dwn quarrel again...i angry myself cn d...try 2 kep my anger...wad i cn do smur???u nvr chge???i reli dono....haiz...my feelin reli so disapointed...n sad...bt wad i cn do samur...ntg!!!!dwn say d la..haiz...leave it la...dwn rite d...xmud 2 cont...

米修米修。。。我又来了。。

cme bek lu...mis here..do my contact lens le...brown colour...mby de place dat i reli cn tel out smetng dat kep inside my heart...yterday as usual lo..work lo..bt de nt sme is me gonna 2 open nt de jiejie..she gt smetng 2 do..so me hv 2 open..nt yt go in ad gt customer le..lgsg nt yt eat ler..nvm lo..den fz fz put out de fon n kira tng lo..ngam ngam fniz kira..gt customer..OMG..nasib baik...de uncle vry cincai wn..hehe..he buy le..so hpy la..mby is de 1st tme i cn sell fon without any1 v me...so hpy...haha...den no long sis cme le..help me in song 4 de uncle lo..after tat 11smetng i oli strt eat my breakfz..haha...mrng do tng ma...ntg eat aso...haha...den sme lo...bt til nun dat tme..aiyoyo...rain so heavily lo..wn go ta pao tng eat aso susah...den til 5smetng li go buy magee mee cup de...haha...eat awhile gt customer...haha...cnt fniz it...den wen nite i ma tel mum wen cny dat tme..i goin hs house...mum gv liao..bt nite mum dnt let me eat v dem...she ask me hu mur important..she gt da bin lou at hme...i say ok lo..ma tel he lo..he aso sa nvm lo...i dono he gt xlk ant la...mby ntg gua..i ma ask lo..den i cl he cme ha...mum say c hw la..i ask hm...he aso tel me c hw la...sur cnt d...cny he so bz...i chu er go kl...mby chu wu mrng cme bek...i tel de sis d...i wil cme work on nuun...u wil noe y i wil work aso...jz i dwn at hme...he xtme pui me aso..den better i go 2 work...samur gt ppl pui me chat wo...haiz...valentine day aso cnt celebrate le gua...mby lo...he so bz..nvm la...he go bz lo..i aso cnt alw control hm wn...he wil suffer wn....so let he freedom bit lo..dats de tng i cn do...say xuse d de...i say til i tired le la...den 2day...ntg hpen...lk usual...jz i gt bit behsyok...he say he cmin bek on ds wek...i tot he cn pui me or wad...wen he tel me jiu coi cmin bek...i strt tnkng cham liao...he sur go out v dem til lte lte wn...haiz...wad 2 say..kl cme bek..i cnt say anytng...act..i plan 2 help hs mum do tng wen ds sat...i tke noon la..xwrk mrng wn..bt he say nvm..xnid..lk dnt lk dnt lk..ntg lo..dwn lo..he ad tel me..ds wek he cmin bek..he pui me half day pui hs fAMily half day n pui jiu coi half day..i ma ask hm lo..yuan lai jiu coi sme kedudukn dlm ur heart wn la...i tnk 4 guys..fren r important...mby...dono la...i aso dwn say much d...ltr he dnt lk...nvm lo...suak lo..wen waitin goin in clz tt...i ad xmud..smur 3 guy kiam pa wn..dnt say dem d...kek nia..dono whr their eye wn...tnkng alot of tng...my waist say reli...1day mur worst den 1 day d...reli dono y..stnd bout half an hour my waist ad vry pain liao..aiyoyo..reli sked smetng wil hepn on me...i tel hm...i feel he goin png chge d...he so no..bt reli gt...u nw n u lz tme wen v ngam ngam couple reli xsme wn...reli...dwn say dat d...he tel me dat im hs comfirm gf d...i dono wad de reali mean..bt i thx u..i f reali i damn HAPPY!!!! n aftr tt heavy rain again..cme bek jiu on9 til nw...jz nw chat smetng 2 hm...say lot le..bt stl remain de sme...i dwn say it out le..act i decide 2 talk it out al de..bt he seem lk nt lk 2 chat bout ds topic..clz it ba..dwn say it out le...cn kep or 4gt le..reli hop u're serius...2ml gt sch...lz la...aiyoyo...wn slp liao...nw my leg pain pula...haiz...if i reli hpen anytng...i wil chose nt 2 tel u...dwn u sufer n worry bout me...i wil brin fan nao 2 u...cz I RELI LOVE YOU!!!!muakz...mis u....
sme day is cmin...dono whrthr he rmber nt..iw nt go rmind he or wad...i wn c wad he goin 2 do...whrthr he rmber nt...dat day aso de day i go tke my contact lens...haha...reli v cn til lng lng...nitez..

米修米修。。。回来了

回来了。。米修米修。。。
继续昨天的好了。。跟他讲很久的电话也让我想通很多了。。我不应该对他这样的。。。
对不起哦。。。我会很尽力地去改。。要给我时间哦。。。我答应你在你新年回来时就会看到全新的我咯。。。希望你会喜欢。。。哈哈。。。结果跟他很坦白地说。。。刚跟XXX讲电话。。他好像不爽了哦。。。有点开心。。因为这代表他还在乎我啊。。。嘻嘻。。。过后就告诉他我听到的事情。。。他说没有。。。他说很久没跟他联络了。。我不懂啦。。。也许你忘了吧。。。其实你跟他联络的话又跟我说没关系。。。我只是不希望你说到那么暧昧的话。。。你懂吗？？我会吃醋。。。同样的道理。。。别人说想我你也是会不爽啊。。对不对？？这件事就算了吧。。。没有下次啊。。晚上时。。老公说。。没有下次了。。不可以再跟他讲电话。。。不可以对他说心事。。。好好好。。。答应你。。他还说我还跟他说那么久。。。哈哈。。。说实话啦。。。他是比较明白啦。。。可是我会试着心平气和地跟你说的。。。给我时间。。。星期五。。我赶到要命咯。。。12.30放学。。。12.45到家。。1.15赶去做工。。什么都没吃。。。哈哈。。。没关系咯。。。都没发生什么特别的事。。。昨天。。。我们又来了。。。他跟我说他晚上要去XX。。。我不是不给你去还是什么。。只是怕你又是而已。。。我虽然有点不爽。。。可是我很努力的在压抑着自己的情绪了。。。我不想跟你吵。。过后说了说了。。。他也不爽了。。。也没说了。。。关电话后。。。他没信息我。。。什么都没有。。在关电话之前他说他电话没电了。。要充电。。。我信息他了。。。也打了三通电话给他。。。没接。。。开始怕了。。我写了一封信息给他。。。他也没回。。。我开始觉得完了完了。。。结束了。。。想哭了。。可是那是在做工。。。装到好像没事那样。。。不久。。他姐姐在FB上找我。。我吓到了。。。我们自我介绍。。哈哈。。可爱吧。。。然后突然他姐姐写说。。还是读好书吧。。我更怕了。。。他没回我了。。他姐姐突然那么说。。更加担心了。。。我就问他姐姐那是什么意思哦？？因为我试过一次了。。。不想要在重覆了。。那种感觉不好受。。。我在打给他。。。他接了。。。我跟他说他姐姐找我。。他说他知道。。。他姐姐跟他说了。。。好咯。。。过后她姐姐回我了。。。说没有意思的。。叫我放心。。。她还说如果他欺负我跟他说。。。她会骂他。。哈哈。。。谢谢哦。。。我跟他没事了。。雨过天晴了。。。没有下次了。。我们的协议不要忘咯。。。我还是爱你的。。。嘻嘻。。。晚上时。。他说他没去只是去走走吧了。。。好咯。。。我睡了。。累到要命。。哈哈。。他跟我说他姐姐下星期有回来。。要来找我。。不要啦。。他去跟他姐姐说我在那里做工的。。。衰到你啊。。我会怕啦。。不要啦。。你又没回来。。真是的。。。好啦。。不写了。。。做工咯。。。

米修米修。。。拜拜。。。爱你哦。。。衰佬。。